It’s 10:59pm. I’m currently laying in the bathtub, dreading washing my hair. It adds so much time to my night. I’ve finished it all. The dishes, the laundry, the straightening up, laying out and prepping are all done. I’ve made my list for tomorrow and am going over ingredients for tomorrow nights supper in my head.
My husband? Asleep. My kids? Asleep. It’s not their fault. They don’t know what goes into it. They don’t know how long it takes to try to be perfect, and I’m still not. Trust me, I’ve tried to be. Some nights, though, I just want to ignore it all and leave it for tomorrow. I do sometimes. It always makes me stressed the next day.
Screaming toddlers, messy house, a todo list a mile long. People asking for things that you have to reach into the back of your brain for the location for. Everyone wants something from you the moment you wake up. And as the day progresses, it only continues and more and more frustratingly. You watch as all your hard work is pillaged and destroyed. Those tiny humans that you would give your life for are now massive bulldozers.
At the end of the day, it’s what’s for dinner? What am I wearing tomorrow, is my lunch ready for tomorrow? And then you get 30 minutes to shower, wash your face and just watch a favorite show. If you know how long the average television show is, you can tell that the math isn’t working out.
At the end of the day, you are completely and utterly DRAINED, but you gave it everything you had.
I sometimes find myself thinking, “Today, I was a really bad mom.” Or today, I was not a good wife.” And I remember, I gave everything and every moment for everyone, today.
It’s enough.
Just Momming 